No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

Voltaire is probably laughing in his grave at my self-pity and ignorance. I am in a rut. I have been in a rut for a long time. Unfortunately for me I am a very keen actress, and unless you are Him on a bad day, you probably wouldn't know it.

I am feeling sorry for myself, and I know it. The virus I'm fighting, the waist-line, no grace, the yucky weather, not knowing where I'll be in 6 months, nothing to wear, short hair, the lack of interest in my job, the New Guy, absence of a real friend (besides Him of course), falling away from God, not dancing, forgetting, ADD tendencies, boney feet, cost of living, the itchy red under my ring, regret in many forms, His pessimism and materialism, always the giver and never the getter, being inadequate, the inability of the medical community to fix my allergies...I could go on.

But I can answer myself. Take more vitamins, go to the gym, who cares about grace, appreciate the snow, enjoy the unknown, at least I have clothes, less shampoo to buy, I work for a respected company, ignore him, He's enough, pray, dance, remember, write things down, paint your toenails, living costs, use cortisone, forgive regret and forget, His love and strength, the Beatitudes, I am enough, bear your cross.

Somehow I can make it come out but to make it sink in . . . do you hear the violins yet?

"From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is
overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. " Psalm 61:2