All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.

oh aristotle. too bad the world can't function based on your thought.

I got a job offer from the firm I interned for the summer before my last year of school...a dream job, and one that would turn my professional career in the direction it should be going. They called me last week in the midst of working nights. I was very surprised. I pulled myself together for the interview, and wowed them with my portfolio...and then wowed them again with baby news. Had I not broken out with that, I think I would be making a very difficult decisions right now as to whether to leave my current position or not. Of course, I debated whether or not I should tell them, but I don't want to burn any bridges by witholding information like that. I really respect the company, who has a great reputation and is all over "house and garden" and "archy digest". After a month of being employed, announcing that kind of news would practically ensure that I would be the ugly duckling for a while, or forever.

They are getting back to me, mostly because I was honest about maybe wanting to be part-time after my leave is over. I am in such limbo over the possibilities. I could be offered the job, part-time and all, and then Italy would be a goner. Do I want that? I don't think I do, but would I be an idiot for passing up this job, or quitting after a year? Maybe they'll WANT me to quit, and then Italy will be handed to us on a silver platter. or MAYBE, they won't offer it to me at all.

maybe. That word seems to be all too present in my life the past few months, and I am so tired of these life changing decisions. I used to pray (seriously) for change in my life. I was so drained by the monotony of my job, of having no money, of not having my family around. I would have given anything for some LIFE in my life. I was thinking more like lottery millions, but I guess what they say is true....careful what you wish for.