Torn Between Joy and Grief
I am so frustrated. I don't really even want to blog, but I know it will make me feel better.
Everyone seems to have an opinion, and no problem sharing it. I was brought up to speak when spoken to, and I hold true to that idea. For some reason my in-laws feel the need to call a meeting with DH and me so that "we" can make a decision. I never fail to be shocked by their audacity and inability to keep their noses out of our business. We are no longer financially tied to anyone but each other at this point, so I do not feel that it is their place to call us all together. When and if we want their opinion, we'll ask for it. We have already had a discussion in which, at length, their ideas and concerns were voiced. This is not their baby, this is not their life. I love them and need them too, but not for this. Of course my perspective is biased, but my parents have been so so supportive. They just keep reminding us of things to remember, like be happy and to pray for clarity. THIS is the kind of guidance we need from parents, not an outline on the positives and negatives: firstly their pros and cons are not ours, secondly that is for us to do. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Careful I may bite.
And to top it off I feel so tired, can't sleep, and am so nauseous. I almost wish I could barf so it would just go away. Expats has been wonderful, but the post I've made has been taken over, and I can't get any of my questions answered. I still have no clue about my visa situation, I don't know about citizenship for this baby, Italian healthcare makes no sense to me, and I don't know that teaching English, if I even get a job, is going to make enough money.
Everyone seems to have an opinion, and no problem sharing it. I was brought up to speak when spoken to, and I hold true to that idea. For some reason my in-laws feel the need to call a meeting with DH and me so that "we" can make a decision. I never fail to be shocked by their audacity and inability to keep their noses out of our business. We are no longer financially tied to anyone but each other at this point, so I do not feel that it is their place to call us all together. When and if we want their opinion, we'll ask for it. We have already had a discussion in which, at length, their ideas and concerns were voiced. This is not their baby, this is not their life. I love them and need them too, but not for this. Of course my perspective is biased, but my parents have been so so supportive. They just keep reminding us of things to remember, like be happy and to pray for clarity. THIS is the kind of guidance we need from parents, not an outline on the positives and negatives: firstly their pros and cons are not ours, secondly that is for us to do. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Careful I may bite.
And to top it off I feel so tired, can't sleep, and am so nauseous. I almost wish I could barf so it would just go away. Expats has been wonderful, but the post I've made has been taken over, and I can't get any of my questions answered. I still have no clue about my visa situation, I don't know about citizenship for this baby, Italian healthcare makes no sense to me, and I don't know that teaching English, if I even get a job, is going to make enough money.
posted by Emily Clancy LoPorto @ 8:30 AM
5 Comments:
At 10:09 AM ,
Tracie P. said...
hi em, i saw your commet on annika's blog and i thought i'd come by for visit.
congratulations! i'm sure after the initial shock of being pregnant wears off after about 2 years you'll be thrilled...
i don't know you, or his parents, but it sounds like they are just frightened of being away from a new grandchild. oh well, it's your life.
focus on your parents, i think it's wonderful that they are being so selflessly supportive.
and thanks for linking me to your website!! i'll return the favor and i'm excited to hear how your story will turn out...
btw, are you from loooooosiana?
At 12:34 PM ,
Yael said...
Start another post and keep doing it till you get your questions answered. On the teaching English question I can help, I make around 800 euros a month and work about 10 hours a week. If you have another income i.e. hubbies you can survive during term time. Holidays will be a problem, nobody does anything in August.
On the feeling sick - eat whatever you fancy now, dont worry about feeding the baby yet. Flat coke, ginger biscuits, boiled sweets and mcdonalds (!) all helped me. Oh and just get lots of rest babe, you'll feel better soon, promise x
At 9:51 AM ,
Emily Clancy LoPorto said...
yes tracie, I am from looooosiana. but I live in NY now. heehee. makes we think of Luziana Iced Tea. That stuff is nasty.
you're a texan right? so we were virtually neighbors at some point! well perhaps fate is bringing us suthern gurls back together. ;)
btw, you're prob right about the in-laws. I'm just so stressed.
Thanks annika...I do need it. I'll try reposting like Yael said. But thanks for the offer, and if I do need some reinforcements, as they say, I'll give you a call er.... mail, heehee.
Yael,
wow, for only 10 hrs a week? about how long after Lila was born did you wait until you started working? I'm sure everyone is different, but just to get an idea.
I am probably going to get TEFL cert this summer before I get too far along, that way I could work a little before he/she is due.
At 2:04 AM ,
sarainitaly said...
I used to freak whenever my MIL/FIL would *suggest* ways for us to do things. I finally learned that they can talk all they want, it is what my husband and I *do* that matters. So now, I listen, nod and smile, then go home, and do it my way. They are older, they think they know what is best, and they are *parents* trying to be parental. I felt so much better when I realized they have no actual control, and we are the ones in control of our own lives and ways of doing things. So, like I said, nod, smile, and then do it your way. (And once or twice my MIL did actually have some good suggestions...even though I wouldn't admit it at the time. haha)
I think if you get students for private lessons, you can make pretty decent money. Look for business people who want to learn/improve english. They can pay more $$ , er actually euro. hehe
At 2:28 AM ,
Tracie P. said...
ahhh, iced tea! REAL, brewed, iced tea...reminds me of my mamma!
keep in touch, girl, it's been good finding another suthner:)
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