i hate health insurance

how corrupt is health insurance. I can't even begin to complain about it, b/c I have already and I just don't have the energy to do it again. well, maybe just a little.

i never imagined that having a baby could make things so complicated. I am sitting here with about 4 sheets of notebook paper covered in calculations of about 8 different scenarios based on how much I will work after my leave is up, if I will stay under my company's insurance, if we'll need a nanny full-time or part-time or at all, how are each of these options worth it knowing we'll be leaving for Italy in 7 months. And will I even want to work, and how much will that cost us in the end. And these decisions actually do have to be made in the next couple of months, b/c if I drop my insurance for another plan, I cannot go back. I'll be stuck, so I have to be sure of my plans once the baby comes. AND GUESS WHAT!!! I have NO idea what I will want once that happens b/c I've NEVER had a baby before!

AArrrggggHHHHHH!!!! It's almost too much to handle. Right now, my mother the most left-brained person I know, it reading over my "notes" and helping me to sort things out, thank heavens. Once we get a few options down, then I'll talk to DH about it. He tends to simplify things, like I'm thinking way too much about them, and usually I just indulge him, but I can't this time. So hopefully if I water it down for him, then there won't be any details to ignore...phew.

i wish I lived in Italy already so I could write about interesting and unusual things that have happened, to about something new I discovered. It's very easy to write about my own frustrations and trials, but to be able to talk about something other than me or my life seems liberating. Perhaps I'll try in the next few weeks to write about a more objective topic and not focus on "poor me."