Confessions of a 20-Something Caffeine Addict

...on caffeine-free nursing diet. God Help Us.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

1 wedding, 2 delayed flights and a gail

this weekend was what I expected it to be....chaotic and too short.

Friday I woke up with a terrible sore throat, and we left Laguardia at 9:30am. Beautiful in NY, HOT but clear in Louisiana. Because we are poor and can't afford direct flights all the time, we had a 2 hour layover in Miami (which is not on the way to LA, by the way). The next flight would get us into New Orleans just in time for the drive home, a quick change, and to the wedding at which I was to sing. NOT SO. Our 2 hours in Miami turned into close to 4 hours...a huge storm front was moving into the northeast, where this flight was arriving from. We did not end up arriving in New Orleans until 5:45...15 minutes to get our bags, get changed (since we now wouldn't have time to at m & d's), and hop in the car. we arrive half an hour late for the wedding, but thank the Lord Eddy is Catholic! I had only missed the entrance hymn, readings, and vows (:(). Hiney, who was also singing, held it on her own til I got there. Eddy said he didn't even notice...woohoo!

the wedding was gorgeous as expected. The reception was lots of fun...great music, great food (jambalaya and boudin!), and lots of faces I haven't seen in years. One guy I've know for a while even called me by the name of my old roommate b/c my hair is much shorter than it had been. Lots of belly patting and "oohhs!" fun fun.

the next morning, we woke up late and just padded around the house in our socks and PJs. For lunch, Dad went and picked up some boiled crawfish (the last of the season) and crabs (in season), and we boiled and spiced some potatos, corn, and mushrooms to go along. My mom's sister and her daughter and son-in-law came over to join us for a quick visit. Bellies full of beer (water in my case) and seafood later, we bid farewell to our company and jumped into the truck to go sailing on Lake Ponchartrain...well actually racing!

the skies were clear and the weather was warm as the sun was set low in the sky at the marina. We got into the boat...m, d, DH, big bro, the Captain (the boat's owner), and his wife. All of the sudden as we were trolling up to the starting marker, the skies opened up and the wind whipped the just hoisted the main sail from one side to the other! the wife insisted that we return to the marina, but after about 10 minutes, it had let up and we went back to the mark. We were supposed to be the first boat out in the race, but b/c the wind had us moving at about 0.3 knots, we ended up the last!!! the wind was up and down until about 2/3's through the race, when the skies opened up again! and this time it didn't stop. Everyone but my father at the helm, the captain who maintained the sails, and DH and I to keep the keeling boat from tipping stayed above. we were in the middle of a gail and the winds were hitting us at 50-60 knots! the rain felt like hundreds of bee stings all over your body, and was quite cold. but the waves from the lake were very warm...90 degrees F! the whisker pole (which supported the jib...the sail in front of the main sail) needed to come down b/c the wife was frightened by our speed and angle of the boat, but once it was unhooked from the mast, the wind and the weight of the pole bent it right in half! the captain had to sacrifice it to the lake, and we ended up coming in 5th out of 7 boats.....this from a man who at least places in most every race he has been in! About 5 minutes to finish the rains let up and the skies cleared. What a rush! we can't wait to go again!

Sunday was too short...we woke up, packed quickly, and headed off to Louie's Cafe for a late breakfast. I had grits and biscuits, like any good country girl would! we left straight for the airport, and a layover in Dallas. Oh...the story doesn't end there, people! The jet had a problem so we left Dallas an hour later than planned and got home at midnight. The next morning I woke up and felt like I had 100 lbs sitting on my head and face. I knew right away I had a sinus infection...that sore throat found it's way into my face! I left work early only to be running around all day to the doctor and nutritionist and hubby's office and didn't get any rest until the time of day I'd normally be sinking into the sofa.

....Tuesday morning I took the first of a 5 day antibiotic regimine. We had to pull the car over b/c I felt like I was going to vomit out my insides. Somehow I was able to talk myself down (using my inner dialogue of course) by thinking about not wanting to have to get a new pack and start over and that I just don't like to vomit (but who does? okay that was loaded). It passed and I feel much better today...besides the fact that our electric flashed last night and our alarm clock was off by 1.5 hours and I was late to work again!

Monday, June 19, 2006

It's a Girl It's a Girl It's a Girl!

you can check out the sono pics at our new website. DH made it, and it's still a bit rough, but it works! the nurse said she was 80% sure...she said at 22 weeks they usually call it, and we're 19, but there was no winky and she showed us the "3 stripes" indication that it was a girl. DH says he needs to go buy a shotgun...what a goober. He'd probably shoot himself in the foot trying to fend off the boys.

we weren't surprised...neither of us had a real preference either way. (though I do remember DH saying he'd rather a girl b/c they can't pee on the seat...well he didn't grow up with any girls. I'm sure I missed a few times too!) So far for names we like Layla (Leighla), Lila (either pronounced LIla or LEEla), Mae, and Celia. Our last name can be a tongue twister so we like the simpler names best.

I just looked up baby girl's chinese horoscope sign....oh no! a dog! heehee I HIGHLY doubt it. Well I like dogs so it's cool with me.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

DH turns the BIG 20-something

In honor of his birthday we are going to see Rufus Wainwright tonight at Carnegie Hall (as I've mentioned before). We are both very excited, and to put it bluntly, it's going to be quite a gay evening. Besides the fact that Rufus is gay and much of his fan base is as well, he's performing ONLY Judy Garland...GAY ICON of the universe! it's going to be great and so memorable.

there were like a berzillion things I wanted to get DH for his birthday...fine clothes, watches, dvds. But my pockets are quite thin and we had some saving to do, so I had to settle on these few things:

American Apparel polo (the only place that sells men's x-small),

American Apparel sweats...oh they're so soft!,

Billy Joel's Box Set "My Lives",

and two books by David Handler, aka "Lemony Snickets" for his children's series, which is great by the way!

well off to waste another hour and half at work not working. it's GORGEOUS outside and I'm stuck in here with only the fresh air creeping in the cracked window to keep me sane until 5pm. Florence where are you?

super geil....good bay...pipe

just got a comment that reads "super geil....good bay...pipe" what the heck does that mean? if it is really supposed to mean something, you'll have to write a little more than that! or translate it for me...I'm a dumb single-tongued american :) Or if this is some weird hacker/spammer/virus spreader, I'm wearing garlic and carrying a large crucifix so stay away...or rock out to some Billy Idol with me b/c that's the image I just conjured up for myself!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

baby dream

Last night I had another baby dream...

It was sort of vague and I can hardly remember all the details, but the feelings are still strong. I must have given birth to the baby, and perhaps it was a little early (like it was supposed to be premie). So they hand me this baby and it's about 2 inches long. It looks like a worry people (or worry doll) wrong in a handkerchief. I'm trying to "cradle" this thing in my arms and I drop it a few times. Of course I'm going crazy b/c first of all why is the baby so small and look like a doll? and Why can't I cradle him/her like a normal baby? How will I feed it? I doubt it's mouth is large enough to nurse! And besides, I think it may not be alive...there is no animation or cries. Apparently the nurses made a mistake so they replace this baby with a slightly larger one, however the face looks like that of a child's doll! Same issues: it's too small to cradle, it won't feed or cry or move. I think I woke up around this point.

a strange dream. what's new!

Last weekend was wonderful. Hiney (as I like to call her b/c she has a nice one!) was in town for a few nights and I almost wanted to cry. It was incredibly refreshing having a real friend around: one that is interested in my life and wants me to know about hers, one that can laugh at the crappy parts of life and has hope, one that get's my elephant jokes and will hold my hand without fear of people thinking we're lesbians (hahaha). though she was here for a short time and I had to work during the day, I was so sad to have to leave her at the station. I want her back! But luckily this one's a traveller and she'll most likely be the first visitor we'll have in Florence :) AND I'll see her at the wedding in a couple of weeks so I can't complain too much. She's such a good listener and really helped me work through my feelings about career change and what I want out of life...while still serving Christ. I know that sounds very holy-roller, but hey that's me! I'm still cool ;)

She told me about some schools here in the US that offer Master's degrees that you can earn completely online! I could be all the way in Florence and be working on master's here in the US! well it's just a thought, and there's still tons of research to do. Plus I need to get work in Italy first anyway. School next.

Friday, June 09, 2006

thank god for...

wine and the pappardelle w/ duck i had

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

cheese with that whine?

well I'd love some but I'm allergic to milk...I can't have wine either, for that matter. beware...loads of whining to follow:

firstly, a general "whine": I HATE HATE HATE it when people make the sound "hmph." It's so unnecessary. Like I can't find my pencil and I think you took it, "hmph." I'm surprised that it's missing BUT I'm pretty sure I know where it is. It's a cop out...I don't have to ask you about it, but I can be safely vocal about my suspision. Or "hmph" as a good/bad response. "here's my design for the Blahblah Residence" "hmph" Yes I can SEE the design...there it is! GOD! either CHEW ME OUT or PRAISE ME! It can also be an attention getter (the one I usually get). anonymous co-worker who I cannot stand (NO WAY!) is sitting at computer adjacent mine. "hmph" "HHmph" "hmmmph" "HMMMPH!" WTF!!!!! do you want my GODAMMED help or not! I don't answer to noises, I answer to words...the english language mostly. and just a little add on, I also don't answer to baby voices or cartoon impressions...and yes, I am speaking from experience.

secondly, I hate my job....and not just my job, my career choice. Yes people, I've said it and have been believing it since about a year and a half ago (I've been out of school since May 2004, so pretty much since I graduated). DH tries to convince me that I am wrong, and that it's just job stress getting to me, but that is NOT just magnifies it. Main reason? I really think that I am morally against what I do, which is basically helping rich a$$holes spend their money on luxurious things. I am a landscape designer, and I know many of you out there think "oh wow! flowers, plants and nature! designer! ooo, aahh!" but it's more like "budget, estimate, cost engineering, my idea is better that yours even though every one I do looks like this so change it." The earth is dying and I spend my days discussing the best radius to use on some guy's pool. I'm not helping society function. A lawyer, a farmer, a factory worker, a doctor, a city planner, a social worker, a plumber, a teacher, a builder...all of these professions are critical to the machine of a nation. Societies depend on these people, even in the most basic communities they exist in some form or another.

I was jaded going into school. I wanted to be an dancer, but that wasn't practical. I wanted to be an artist...same problem, so I chose a professional design field that seemed to suit me. My parents were big environmental activists when I was younger, and most of my memories are of being outside studying birds with my ID book, helping my dad with his gi-normous organic garden, playing in the rain (even if it might be acid rain....AGHH!!!!) running around in the straw fields and climbing to the top of hay bales, climbing trees and looking for four-leaf clovers (which I have never found, btw). Landscape architecture seemed to encompass both my desire to be an artist and to continue to develop my nature stewardship, if you will. I took a big bite without even taking a little sniff. And I even bought the idea for a while that this was my destiny, more like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now I see that the chances of the aspects of this career that I had clung too (environmental design, creative playground concepts, sustainability practices) will most likely never pass my wa, even though I've HUNTED for them. I'm realizing that even if they did, it may be when I'm middle-aged, and that is just too late for me.

interjection: I know this is boring. I am well aware that I am rambling. don't feel guilty if you aren't reading all of this. it probably doesn't make sense anyway!

But most of all, I am finding that I like those ideas and fields in the same way that I like a Yo Yo Ma cello solo. It's amazing and beautiful and inspiring. Yet, there are only a select few who can do it, and I am not interested in being one of them. I don't have the drive. I don't want to pick up the cello and learn to be a musical genious. I don't want to spend the rest of my life striving to possibly get a chance to be a part of some amazing landscape architectural feat.

WHAT do I want to do? well I've always wanted to be a teacher. One of the things I love about the new ideas in teaching is that all the information that is given to a person in a classroom is NOT important b/c it's part of some important database of info we need to have forever. No, this informtation is just a medium to teach people how to think! How to be creative, analytical, rhetorical, how to research and have an opinion, and most of all, how to use the things you do best to live your life. Now THAT is inspiring. I could also see myself as a nurse or a counselor. All of these careers scare me b/c it would mean slowly flushing the 5 years of college I've already endured down the toilet, b/c aside from teaching, I'd probably have to go for a second bachelor's. Maybe not, but it seems worth it right now, but is it?

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


so i've neglected my blog. and I won't redeem myself by writing anything interesting or exciting. but what I will do is dazzle you with a couple of pictures that illustrate the state of my life right now.

the body

the thumb (see "chef" post)
for those faint of heart you may want to scroll down past these pics...hey! it's my blog!!!



okay it's safe to look now. you can move your hand away from your eyes!

finally, the hair...I just got it cleaned up today, so trust me that this is an improvement...twiggy can keep her hairstyle, I'm over it!

and, yes ma'am, I am wearing the ugliest, most comfortable sweatshirt on the face of the planet...and GOD is it and DH fight over it each night. It actually belongs to my freshman year college roommate's best friend's sister. But it's mine now ALLLLL MMIIIINNNNNEEE!!!! (insert evil laugh here)

Monday, June 05, 2006

for niki!